Do You Love God and Hate Your Neighbor?

Have you ever met someone who claims to love God, but who has nothing good to say about other people? Someone who is constantly complaining and criticizing and making fun of others?

Yeah, me too. I know a lot of people like that. They go to church on a regular basis. They say their prayers every day and they read their Bibles. They profess to love and serve God, and yet they constantly say nasty and sarcastic things about everybody, either gossiping behind their backs or being rude right to their faces.

When Jesus was asked which commandment in the law is the greatest, He said, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:36-40).

So, Jesus said there is not one single commandment that is most important; there are two. We must love God, and love our neighbor as ourselves. And, of course, by “neighbor,” Jesus did not mean just the people who live on our street, as if we could say, “Hey, wait a minute, you live across town! You’re not my neighbor. I don’t have to care about you. Go jump in a lake!”

By “neighbor,” Jesus meant all people, regardless of where they live, or their race, creed, or political affiliation. That’s a little more of a daunting task, isn’t it? Jesus said we need to love everybody.

Maybe Jesus will be satisfied if we love God and kind of tolerate our neighbor. Because if you haven’t noticed, people can be real jerks. There are a lot of folks walking around these days who are very unlovable. Jesus can’t really expect us to love all those creeps, can He?

Well, in St. John’s first epistle, he wrote, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God—whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother” (1 John 4:20-21).

Oh brother, indeed! How do we do that? Well, it’s not easy. But there is an important concept in the Gospels, and here it is: It is possible to love people without necessarily liking them. The key is not that we have fond feeling for everyone, but that we remember every single person on earth was created in God’s image and is loved very much by God. What we have to do is sincerely wish the best for everyone. And in many cases, “the best” means that person needs to turn to God, repent, and change his or her selfish and hurtful behavior. But the biggest change occurs in our attitude toward them. Even if we don’t really like them, we can pray for them. That’s how we can love the unlovable, as Jesus commands.

So, getting back to my original question: have you ever met someone who claims to love God, but who has nothing good to say about other people? If so, then you may have met me.

If you struggle with this issue, as I do, let’s work together on it. Let’s try to love those people who annoy us the most by praying that God will shower them with blessings and change them. In the process, we’ll find that God changes us, too. And who knows, maybe all those people who call us jerks behind our backs will decide we’re not so bad after all.

Sleep Deprived After 18 Innings

For the past three weeks, many people have asked me these two questions: 1) “Did you stay up till 3:30 a.m. to watch that 18-inning World Series game?” and 2) “Are you going to write about the Red Sox winning the championship?”

Here are the answers I offered to those two questions: 1) “Yes,” and 2) “I’m not sure, because I’m so sleep-deprived I can’t think straight.”

Well, almost three weeks after the fact, I’ve finally caught up on sleep, and it’s time to write about the World Series victory by my beloved Red Sox. First, let’s start with that 18-inning marathon game. It was a Friday night, and as midnight approached and the game was tied after nine innings, I thought to myself, “Well, I don’t have to get up early and go to work tomorrow, so I’ll continue watching. How long can it go, another hour or so at the most?”

When the clock ticked past 2 a.m. in about the 15th inning, I no longer even cared who won. I pleaded with the TV: “Somebody, anybody, please end this thing!”

Anyway, the game went 18 innings, with the Dodgers winning on a walk-off home run at exactly 3:30 a.m. Eastern Time. I was relieved it was finally over, but then quickly realized I did indeed care who won, and as I crawled into bed and tried to sleep, my mind repeatedly replayed Ian Kinsler’s errant throw in the 13th inning that could’ve won the game for Boston. I didn’t doze off until well past 4 a.m.

For some unfortunate reason — probably due to the fact I’m not 25 anymore — I was wide awake before 7 a.m. and spent the rest of the weekend walking around in a daze.

There are two things that occurred during the World Series that I am not very proud of. The first is staying up to watch the entire 18-inning game. Many people have congratulated me for being such a dedicated fan, but in reality, it was one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a long time. (And if you ask my darling bride, the list of dumb things is extensive!)

The second thing I’m not proud of was directly caused by the 18-inning marathon game. Two nights later, when the Red Sox were poised to clinch the World Series title, I was so tired I went to bed after the fourth inning. While sound asleep I was awakened by the telephone ringing. I groggily looked at my alarm clock, which read 11:20. Then it dawned on me: “Ooh, the baseball game! Someone must be calling to celebrate with me! Either that, or it’s another robocall telling me to vote for Ned Lamont.”

I didn’t get out of bed in time to answer the phone, but I went in the living room, turned on the TV and saw a mob of Red Sox players jumping around and hugging each other. (Note to B.L.: Even though your wife was angry that you called me so late, I’m glad you did, so I could watch the celebration live.)

As the players celebrated and the trophies were presented, I perused various sports apps on my cell phone, trying to learn the details of the game. To be honest, at that moment I felt like a fraud. “What kind of fan am I? I was asleep during the clinching moment. I never would’ve done that in 2004. I don’t deserve to wear any of my 17 Red Sox hats!”

Three weeks later, and now well-rested, I think I’m still a loyal fan in good standing. And here’s a question for the MLB executives: Would it kill ya to start the games a little earlier?!

Don’t Lose Sight of the Good News

The past few months have been kind of depressing in the Catholic world. With the clergy sex abuse scandal flaring up once again, passionate and angry declarations have been dominating the daily news cycle. Our heads are swirling with various names and phrases: McCarrick, Viganò, Wuerl, cover-up, Martin, lavender mafia, Bergolio, settlements, seminaries, celibacy, Mansell, Cupich, PR statements, non-disclosure agreements, and on and on.

Some people are actually calling for Pope Francis to resign. Others are insisting that any criticism of the hierarchy is the work of Satan, as the Evil One attempts to create scandal in the Church.

Reports indicate that countless parishioners are leaving the Church, disgusted at the level of sin by the clergy and the cover-up by the leadership. Experts are certain dozens of states will follow Pennsylvania’s lead and conduct their own grand jury investigations, which will lead to further billions and billions of dollars in payouts to victims. Many pundits predict the financial impact will be so devastating, the Church will be forced to declare bankruptcy and may collapse entirely.

So, during this sad Season of Shame for Catholics, it is quite likely that many folks have been so focused on the failings of the Church, they’ve lost sight of the one and only reason the Church exists: to preach the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Jesus founded the Church and declared the gates of Hell will not prevail against it. This is very comforting, especially during these times of crisis, when it seems Hell is doing a bang-up job of tearing the Church apart. We can and must remain confident that the Church will prevail in the end.

The Church needs to get back to the business for which it was founded: preaching the Good News of the Gospel. If you’re like me, you probably haven’t thought about that in quite a while, with the current scandal dominating the headlines.

Therefore, let’s have a little refresher course. What is the Good News of the Gospel anyway? We can simplify it down to four basic points:

First, God loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives. In our very secular culture, it’s easy to forget that there is indeed a supernatural divine Being who created the entire Universe, including all life on earth. And this Being, called God, did it all out of His abundant love. He knows each of us by name, and He desperately wants us to share in His love.

Second, unfortunately, human beings committed sin, which separated us from the love of God. Just like Adam and Eve after they sinned, we feel shame and fear, and we hide from God. This makes things even worse, as we get caught up more and more in the habit of sin and selfishness. It becomes a spiritual downward spiral.

Third, God provided us with a way out of our predicament: He sent His only Son, Jesus, to become a man and bridge the big gulf between God and humanity. Jesus’ death on the cross paid the price for our sin, and His Resurrection three days later conquered death once and for all.

Fourth, and best of all, Jesus promised that if we put our faith in Him and live our lives according to His teachings, we too can conquer death and spend eternity in God’s heavenly kingdom.

This is the basic Gospel message. The Church exists only to spread this message to a hurting world. It is truly the Good News.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the current scandals, if your faith life is sputtering these days because of the relentless negative news, spend some time focusing on the Good News. Spend some time focusing on Christ. Turn off your computer and all those negative reports, and open your Bible. Spend some time alone with Jesus in prayer.

The Good News is always good, no matter how often sinful members of the Church try to mess it up. Let’s not lose sight of that.

Too Young to Retire

During the last few months, I can’t count the number of people who have asked me if I am retired. (And for a guy who works in engineering sales, you’d think I’d be able to count to five.)

A couple of the people who asked if I’m retired had never met me before. After being introduced and then some idle chit-chat, they just blurted out, “So, are you retired?”

Being the self-conscious person that I am, I interpreted this question to mean: “You look like you’re at least 70, so let’s talk about senior citizen stuff.”

Well, I’m only in my early 60s. In fact, on my last birthday, I turned fifty-eleven, so I’m nowhere near retirement age — unless I worked for the government, in which case I would’ve been able to retire with a lifetime pension about a decade ago. But I live in the real world, so talking about retirement is way too premature.

No wait, “talking about” retirement is fine. Actually retiring is premature. In fact, according to those informational emails I receive from AARP every 30 seconds or so, I should’ve been talking about, and planning for, retirement a long time ago. Financial experts say that I needed to begin saving toward retirement at age 24, the exact moment I decided I could have a more fulfilling career in the private sector rather than taking a state job. Yeah, you’re right, for someone who works in engineering sales, at times I can be as dumb as bag of doorknobs.

Well, that’s all water under the bridge. As the old saying goes: “You can’t change the past, all you can do is cry about the future.” Umm, I don’t think the word “cry” is part of that old saying. It must’ve slipped out of my subconscious.

At this point, I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the fact I’m a couple decades behind schedule in my retirement planning, or that people think I look like I’m at least 70.

The thing is, I don’t really want to retire anytime soon. I like my job. Certainly, there are moments of frustration at the office (usually self-induced, when I have one of my “bag of doorknobs” moments), but overall, I find my work very enjoyable.

Also, during the last few months, I can’t count the number of people I’ve met who recently retired, only to discover retirement is not all it’s cracked up to be. (All right, I’ll take a guess: four people.) One guy told me he’s worried his savings will run out and so he obsesses over every nickel he spends. Another guy told me he’s bored and he spends too much time watching mindless TV. One guy told me now that he’s home all the time, he and his wife are getting on each other’s nerves. And the final guy confided in me that since he quit working, he feels fairly useless and he’s starting to think society wants him to die and get out of the way. (Gee, I don’t know why he would think that, other than the fact former Colorado governor Richard Lamm once said out loud what many others are thinking, that old people have “a duty to die and get out of the way.”)

In the interest of full disclosure, during the last few months, I can’t count the number of people I’ve met who recently retired and said they now are having the time of their life. (All right, I’ll take a guess: 50 people.) OK, so a lot of people do enjoy being retired. Fine. It’s just not for me. Now I have to get back to my engineering sales job. What do I sell? Bags of doorknobs.

Church History Filled with Scandals and Crises

The Catholic world is abuzz with talk about the current crisis: the ongoing clergy sex abuse scandal, enflamed in recent months by disclosures about disgraced ex-Cardinal McCarrick and the Pennsylvania grand jury report.

Many Catholics are angry. Many are dismayed. Many are leaving the Church, vowing never to return. And many are convinced this is the worst crisis ever to hit the Church, so much so that the Church may not survive.

I personally have heard more than a few Catholics lament that this scandal might cause the worldwide Church to declare bankruptcy and end up a hollow shell of its former self, kind of like the Sears Roebuck Company.

However, before we write the obituary for the Church, it might be best to put the current crisis in historical perspective. Yes, this scandal is bad. Yes, many thousands of people were victimized by predator priests and bishops. Yes, the financial impact is staggering, with billions already paid out to victims and who knows how many more billions needed for future payouts, especially if other states open grand jury investigations similar to Pennsylvania, as many have indicated they will do.

In her 2,000-year history, the Catholic Church has faced many scandals and crises. We can sometimes lose sight of the big picture and focus only on events that occur during our lifetime.

A great resource to put things into perspective is a podcast series by Fr. Dwight Longenecker, titled “Triumphs and Tragedies.” Fr. Longenecker is a former Anglican (Episcopalian) priest who now is one of the few Catholic priests who are allowed to be married. He currently is pastor of a parish in South Carolina, and is a prolific writer, speaker, and Internet blogger.

In Fr. Longenecker’s “Triumphs and Tragedies” podcast series, he devotes each episode to a specific century in Church history, focusing on the many struggles faced by believers during the particular period. If you think the present sex abuse scandal is the worst thing that’s ever happened to the Church, just wait till you find out what happened in the past!

The Catholic Church has endured so many crises and calamities down through the centuries, it becomes obvious that a purely manmade institution never would have survived this long. The fact the Church still exists throughout the world after 2,000 tumultuous years is powerful evidence that Jesus is the true head of the Church. Only God’s divine protection could have prevented the Church from collapsing completely many, many centuries ago.

Go to DwightLongenecker.com and look for “Triumphs and Tragedies” under the “Categories” menu in the far right-hand column. You can listen to the podcasts on your computer, or download them and listen on your phone or in your car.

Learning more about Church history is fascinating, and realizing that the Church has encountered trials as bad or even worse than the current crisis is somewhat comforting and encouraging—especially when all we seem to hear these days is, “The Church is doomed!”

Don’t get me wrong, the current crisis is awful. We will experience painful and shameful times for the foreseeable future. But the Church has survived many attacks over the span of 20 centuries, from within and from without. (The present situation, by the way, is definitely an attack from within, with a lot of help and tempting from the Evil One.)

The Catholic Church was founded by Jesus Himself, and given the mission of proclaiming the Good News of the Gospel to all the world. Sinful people within the Church, of course, make that mission much more difficult. But that is what we’re called to do, and Jesus promised the Church ultimately will succeed. To see how the Lord has protected His Church during dire times in the past, listen to Fr. Longenecker’s podcasts. The Lord will surely protect us during this dire time, too.

The Season for Fashion Change

Now that the weather is turning colder, I recently performed my semi-annual Seasonal Clothing Change Procedure.

First, I pushed some sneakers and boat shoes to the back of my closet, and moved some boots and heavier shoes to the front. Then I retrieved from the basement a plastic storage bin that contained all my sweaters. I put the sweaters in a bureau drawer and put all my golf shirts in the storage bin. Finally, I brought the plastic bin back down to the basement where it will sit until next Spring.

My entire Seasonal Clothing Change Procedure took exactly six minutes. It would’ve been less but I stopped halfway through to get a snack.

My wife, on the other hand, began her Seasonal Clothing Change Procedure on Labor Day weekend and she is optimistic that this year she should complete the process by December 31st. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that my wife is a procrastinator or has an immense wardrobe. She performs her SCCPs much quicker than the average woman. Some women do not finish their Fall procedure until April 1st, the date they are required by law to begin their Spring procedure, which means during all 12 months of the year they are constantly in the process of moving, rearranging, and reorganizing their clothing to match the seasons. Shoes alone can take three months.

There are two things in life that are simply not fair. The first is childbirth. Men are burdened with the task of sitting in the delivery room — waiting and waiting and getting nervous, and making sure that our wives don’t notice that we’re glancing past them to watch a ballgame on the hospital TV — while women get to be actively involved in all the fun stuff of childbirth.

OK, I’m kidding. Obviously that last paragraph was a joke! Please don’t send me nasty letters. I fully agree it’s totally unfair that women have to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to procreation. But it’s not our fault. If you’re upset with the current arrangement, please complain to God.

However, we men ARE responsible for the other thing that is simply not fair: the difference in men’s and women’s fashions. Men have it so easy. We don’t have to give any thought to what we wear. We just put on a pair of jeans. Or if we’re getting dressed for a formal occasion, we can wear anything-but-jeans. Then we put on sneakers. Or again if it’s formal, we wear anything-but-sneakers. Then we put on a shirt, any shirt, and if it happens to be a super special formal occasion, such as our own wedding or our own funeral, we’ll grab a tie. And that’s it. The whole process of getting dressed takes men two minutes — three, if we stop halfway through to get a snack.

As everyone knows, women cannot leave the house unless they agonize over every last fashion detail. Sometimes women are forced to fly to Milan to purchase just the right scarf to accentuate their shoes and purse — so they can be properly attired to take the dog for a walk.

And it’s all the fault of men. Women believe they must focus all that energy on fashion to be attractive to men, when in reality most men don’t even notice what women are wearing because we’re too busy glancing past them to watch a ballgame.

So, let’s put an end to this madness. Women, please don’t worry so much about what you wear. We men won’t mind; we probably won’t even notice. In the meantime, we’ll see what we can do about making childbirth more fair. Maybe we’ll turn off the TV.

Despite Scandal, God Wants Us to Be Joyful

One of my favorite Catholic authors is Dr. Peter Kreeft, a longtime professor of philosophy at Boston College. Recently, I saw a video where Professor Kreeft discussed Christian joy. He said he was pleased to learn that the Catholic Church will not canonize a saint unless all nine Fruits of the Spirit are present in his or her life. And this includes joy. So, in other words, a Gloomy Gus or a Grouchy Gretchen cannot be declared a saint.

As I’m sure you know, I discussed the nine Fruits of the Spirit about a month ago. What’s that? You don’t remember? You mean you’re not memorizing these brilliant essays? Oh, now I’ve lost all my joy.

Just kidding. I don’t expect you to memorize these essays. I don’t even memorize them. Half the time I’m not even paying attention while I’m writing them. What’s that? Oh, it’s that obvious? Hmm, thanks.

Anyway, to refresh your memory, the nine Fruits of the Spirit, as described by St. Paul in his letter to the Galatians, are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I fully acknowledge that it might be kind of hard to feel very joyful right now. The Church is mired in this horrible season of shame, with more and more facts being uncovered about sexual predator clergy, Animal House behavior in seminaries, and powerful bishops who willfully ignored these problems.

It is, admittedly, somewhat difficult to declare these days, “I am a joyful Catholic!”

However, we cannot let the present Church scandal take away our joy. First, the men who committed those sinful acts are a very small percentage of the clergy. Most priests are dedicated, holy men who strive to love God and serve God’s people.

Second, and more importantly, we cannot lose sight of the real reason God founded the Church, which is to tell the world that He is real, that His Son Jesus is the Risen Lord, and that the good news of the Gospel can provide the two deepest longings of the human heart: true forgiveness of sins in this world and eternal life in Heaven once our time on earth is over. This news is so breathtakingly good, it should put a permanent smile on our face.

Dr. Kreeft makes this stunning claim: “The Incarnation is the biggest joke in history.”

Now, obviously, he does not mean this in the cynical, sarcastic way a militant atheist might say, “Religion is a joke!”

No, Kreeft is saying that the Incarnation—the divine Lord Jesus taking on human flesh—is the most absurd thing that ever happened in world history. Just think about it: the almighty, all-perfect, supernatural Creator of the Universe decided to lower Himself and become one of His dirty, smelly creatures.

The key to all humor is surprise. Think about the first time you heard a very funny joke compared to the tenth time you heard it. When there is no surprise, there is no humor.

The most surprising, startling, stunning thing that has ever happened in the last 15 billion years is the Incarnation: God becoming man. It’s like a farmer deciding to sleep in the pigpen. It’s like the corporate CEO deciding to scrub toilets with the cleaning staff. It is so amazingly unexpected, we can’t help but laugh out loud.

The Gospel message brings joy. The fact that God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to rescue us from sin is the most wonderful news of all time. If it doesn’t put a smile on your face, then maybe you don’t quite understand the true Gospel message.

Despite the frustration, sadness, and anger produced by the Church’s season of shame, we cannot lose sight of the big picture. God is still God, and He is still in charge. Let’s not give in to the temptation to be a Gloomy Gus or a Grouchy Gretchen. God wants us to be filled with joy.