A couple of weeks ago, during one of the typical water cooler
conversations at my office (conversations which sometimes seem to take up more
hours each day than any actual work), the topic was the volcano eruptions in
Hawaii.
When people originally purchased the homes that now have been
engulfed and destroyed by lava, it must’ve been an interesting conversation
with the real estate agent. “Oh, you’re just gonna love this place!” the agent probably
said. “Great views. Secluded neighborhood. Truly paradise!” Then the
prospective buyer asked, “But it’s built on an active volcano, right? I mean,
isn’t that a concern?” “Oh no,” the agent answered, “People barely even noticed
the volcano during the past 20 or 30 years, so there’s nothing to worry about!”
My homeowner’s insurance company freaks out if my chimney flue
isn’t cleaned on a regular basis. I wonder how steep the premiums are when your
house is located three blocks away from molten lava?
At the water cooler, we started talking about all the places that
are threatened by natural disasters. California is often called paradise, but
they have to deal with earthquakes, droughts, wildfires, and mudslides.
People living in the Gulf coast states, Florida, and the Carolinas
are at risk for devastating hurricanes.
The folks in the Midwest get whacked every summer by killer
tornadoes. And those living near major rivers get flooded out every few years it
seems.
I summarized our discussion by making this sweeping declaration:
“Here in Connecticut, it might be too dark and cold for too many months in the
winter, but at least the only disasters we have to deal with are manmade, such
as high taxes, crumbling roads, and a lousy football program at UConn. At least
we’re safe from natural disasters!”
I’ve got to stop making sweeping declarations.
Exactly one day later, a nasty line of thunderstorms raced across
our state and produced four different tornados. Not one, but FOUR different
tornados! Here in Connecticut! Gee whiz, I could probably count on one hand the
number of tornados that have hit the Nutmeg State during my lifetime. (Please
don’t send me emails with precise tornado numbers gleaned from extensive Google
searches. I’m just using a figure of speech to convey the idea that we ain’t
exactly Oklahoma, OK?)
Tragically, two state residents were killed during that recent
storm; hundreds of houses and vehicles were severely damaged by falling trees; many
days after the storm, tens of thousands of homes were still without power; and
aerial footage showed swaths of destruction that made what were once dense
forestlands look like a bunch of toothpicks scattered on the ground.
So, for the next water cooler discussion, the topic will be: where
the heck can you live that is safe from natural disasters? I think the answer
is obvious: nowhere.
Ever since the storm hit, I’ve been uneasily watching a row of
tall pine trees on my property line swaying in the breeze. I did some quick
calculations: Hmm, if the trees are 90 feet tall, and the base of the trees are
60 feet from my house, and if the wind knocks down one or more of the trees
directly toward my house, let’s see, carry the five, move the decimal place
over, that means, um, that means the trees will not hit me — as long as I’m at
work having a conversation at the water cooling. However, If I’m lying in bed,
the trees could squash me like a bug.
Maybe it’s time to sell my house and move to a safer part of the
country. I hear you can get some great real estate deals these days on the big
island of Hawaii.
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