In early February, my wife and I flew to Florida for a week. The first four days were spent (and I emphasize the word “spent,” as in “cha-ching”) in Orlando, where I attended a trade show. Then for the remaining days we drove over to Cocoa Beach, on the Atlantic Ocean. We were just down the road from Port Canaveral, where the Disney and Carnival Cruise ship terminals are located. And if you think we went on a cruise, then you didn’t read my column on January 29th. (Hint: the word “terminal” is featured prominently. Look up that column.)
Here are some observations of our adventures in Florida:
The trade show and conference I attended is billed as “The World’s Largest HVAC Marketplace.” But it turns out that despite all the air conditioning and heating equipment on display, the event actually should be called “The Cholesterol Olympics.” (I won a gold and two silvers!) This year, my New Year’s resolution to avoid unhealthy food lasted the entire month of January. A new record! In past years, that very same resolution was broken by halftime of the Rose Bowl game.
However, during our four-day stay in Orlando, I had steak twice, barbecued beef once, fried calamari, fried shrimp, fried onion rings, and possibly a few fried Slim Jims. I also had some donuts, some bacon, and some donuts wrapped in bacon. Just to be safe, I called ahead and had paramedics waiting for me at Bradley Airport with an IV of Lipitor.
I had an interesting adventure with the EZ Pass highway toll device on the rental car. When I picked up the car, I said to the clerk behind the counter, “You have the EZ Pass device in the car, right? I’ll use that when I drive under a toll gantry, and then pay for whatever I use when I return the car, OK?” He nodded his head and smiled, and I thought we were all set. It turns out we were not all set. I was required to choose a “toll package,” and since I did not, every time I drove under a toll gantry rather than use the “cash lane,” the State of Florida took my picture and entered me into a database of known tax felons. (Let this be a lesson for my fellow Nutmeggers. Once those gantries are installed, it’s “game over.” Just sayin’.)
The trade show and conference I attended is billed as “The World’s Largest HVAC Marketplace.” But it turns out that despite all the air conditioning and heating equipment on display, the event actually should be called “The Cholesterol Olympics.” (I won a gold and two silvers!) This year, my New Year’s resolution to avoid unhealthy food lasted the entire month of January. A new record! In past years, that very same resolution was broken by halftime of the Rose Bowl game.
However, during our four-day stay in Orlando, I had steak twice, barbecued beef once, fried calamari, fried shrimp, fried onion rings, and possibly a few fried Slim Jims. I also had some donuts, some bacon, and some donuts wrapped in bacon. Just to be safe, I called ahead and had paramedics waiting for me at Bradley Airport with an IV of Lipitor.
I had an interesting adventure with the EZ Pass highway toll device on the rental car. When I picked up the car, I said to the clerk behind the counter, “You have the EZ Pass device in the car, right? I’ll use that when I drive under a toll gantry, and then pay for whatever I use when I return the car, OK?” He nodded his head and smiled, and I thought we were all set. It turns out we were not all set. I was required to choose a “toll package,” and since I did not, every time I drove under a toll gantry rather than use the “cash lane,” the State of Florida took my picture and entered me into a database of known tax felons. (Let this be a lesson for my fellow Nutmeggers. Once those gantries are installed, it’s “game over.” Just sayin’.)
I’m still trying to hash out a settlement. I don’t know how much it will end up costing me, but I know I’ll never be able to slip this one undetected into my expense report. On the bright side, I hear that Florida prisons offer classes in Spanish as a second language, which will come in handy the next time I try to communicate with a rental car clerk in the Sunshine State.
When we arrived in Florida, I called home to say hi to my mother. Even though I qualified for Social Security last year, my mom ended our call by offering the universal “Mother’s advice,” when she said, “Don’t talk to strangers!”
Well, I was attending an international convention and sales conference, so I kind of had to talk to strangers. Since we’re all from the same industry, it’s really not like we’re strangers. Although, since we’re all in the HVAC business, the word “strange” is appropriate.
It turns out the biggest attraction of the entire trade show was my Hartford Whalers hat. I got more comments and entered into more conversations with hockey fans who remember the “good ol’ days.” (And yes, Mom, they all were strangers.)
When we arrived in Florida, I called home to say hi to my mother. Even though I qualified for Social Security last year, my mom ended our call by offering the universal “Mother’s advice,” when she said, “Don’t talk to strangers!”
Well, I was attending an international convention and sales conference, so I kind of had to talk to strangers. Since we’re all from the same industry, it’s really not like we’re strangers. Although, since we’re all in the HVAC business, the word “strange” is appropriate.
It turns out the biggest attraction of the entire trade show was my Hartford Whalers hat. I got more comments and entered into more conversations with hockey fans who remember the “good ol’ days.” (And yes, Mom, they all were strangers.)
Well, it was a fun trip, but now it’s back to winter in New England. (Unless Florida marshals drag me down there again. Which, based on the weather forecast for Connecticut, might not be so bad.)
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