Research Shows Facebook Is Harmful

In my spare time, I record a weekly essay for WJMJ, the radio station of the Archdiocese of Hartford, titled “The Merry Catholic.” (I mean that’s the title of my essay, not the title of the Archdiocese.)

Recently, I concluded an essay with this statement: “Here’s another thing we need to do: delete that Facebook account. No, really. Do it today! It may be the best thing that ever happened to your soul.”

A great deal of feedback poured in, with many people saying, “How can you say that? Facebook is wonderful! Without Facebook, I wouldn’t know who I’m supposed to hate.” On the other hand, other folks agreed with me and said, “You’re right! Facebook was invented by Satan.”

To date, I have not yet heard from the former mayor of New Britain. But I suspect he’s a bit preoccupied right now apologizing after the outrage caused by his, um, imprudent Facebook comment during the State of the Union Address. (I am, of course, using the definition of the word “imprudent” that means: “the dumbest, nastiest, this-guy-needs-serious-help comment ever posted in the history of the Internet.”)

For all those who think Facebook is wonderful, I hate to break it to you, but there is a growing body of scientific research that points to this undeniable conclusion: Facebook was invented by Satan.

Well, that’s a bit extreme. Facebook was actually invented by a soulless cyborg — or at least that’s what Mark Zuckerberg appeared to be when he testified before Congress last year.

If you do a Google search and type in the simple question, “Is Facebook harmful?” you will get 140 million search results, many of which are news stories that begin with the sentence, “The former mayor of New Britain, CT, is in hot water after a nasty Facebook post went viral.”

Some of the other search results link to articles in medical journals with headlines such as: “Is Facebook Destroying Society and Your Mental Health?” and “New Study Links Facebook to Depression.” There was a news story with this interesting headline: “Facebook admits it poses mental health risk — but says using site more can help.” (That was right next to the story that said, “Drug pusher says heroin poses health risk — but says buying more drugs can help.”)

In fairness, I do acknowledge the three positive aspects of Facebook: 1) It lets you keep in touch with people you’d rather not see face to face. 2) It informs you what long lost high school classmates had for breakfast this morning. 3) It lets area criminals know that your house is empty when you brag about the vacation you’re currently on.

Many of the articles in the medical journals cite two psychological risks with Facebook: envy and narcissism. First, people become envious when they see friends and former classmates living such wonderful lives, and then they become obsessively narcissistic trying to present how wonderful their lives are — even if it requires making stuff up. And all the while, no one realizes that EVERYONE on Facebook is making stuff up.

This relentless cycle of envy and narcissism can lead to clinical depression. Besides depression, Facebook also can cause otherwise normal people to be consumed with anger and hate, especially regarding politics, as the former mayor of New Britain so clearly demonstrated.

So, there really is only one sane thing to do: delete your Facebook account and start listening to WJMJ radio instead. My “Merry Catholic” essays are nothing like Facebook posts, since they are pre-recorded and edited. This means the odds that I’ll say something stupid are greatly reduced — down to only 50%.