About two years ago, I signed up for YouTube TV, at a cost of $35 per month. It’s a terrific streaming service, owned by the digital behemoth Google, which allows you to watch television shows over the Internet. It includes all the major broadcast networks; a bunch of cable channels; and a plethora of sports options, including ESPN, NESN, Fox Sports, SNY, MLB, Golf Channel and about a dozen others. When I first signed up, I was so excited I blurted out, “With that much programming, YouTube TV is easily worth $100 a month!”
Well, it turns out, just as we all suspected, our dear friends at Google are in fact listening in on all of our conversations (and probably most of our thoughts). No sooner had I signed up for the service and made my joyful comment, they raised the price to $40 per month. Then last year, it went to $50 per month. And just last month, they announced another price hike, this time up to $65 per month.
Well, it turns out, just as we all suspected, our dear friends at Google are in fact listening in on all of our conversations (and probably most of our thoughts). No sooner had I signed up for the service and made my joyful comment, they raised the price to $40 per month. Then last year, it went to $50 per month. And just last month, they announced another price hike, this time up to $65 per month.
On the one hand, you could make the case they’re still charging me less than what I said the service is worth. But on the other hand, this is, after all, an 85% price increase over the span of just a couple of short years. I mean, c’mon. Who would have the gall to treat their customers so shabbily (besides, of course, our delightful power company here in New England, Eversource)?
I suspect YouTube TV is following the same business model developed by Joey “Dr. Mellow” McGillicuddy, who was the resident drug dealer in the town where I grew up. Dr. Mellow would sell his products to the high school freshmen for WAY below market prices. Then, when the kids were addicted — boom! — the clever doctor would jack up the prices and make a fortune off the newly minted pot heads.
Speaking of newly minted pot heads, is anybody besides me a little uneasy about the number of states that have legalized recreational marijuana? It’s turning into an industry that soon will dwarf Google for sheer size. The libertarian in me says, “Hey, people are going to get high anyway, so it might as well be regulated and taxed.” But the cautious senior citizen in me says, “Hey, get off my lawn!” No, wait. I mean, the cautious senior citizen in me says, “Hmm, do we really want to send the message to young people that becoming a ‘fog-brain’ is no big deal?”
I suspect YouTube TV is following the same business model developed by Joey “Dr. Mellow” McGillicuddy, who was the resident drug dealer in the town where I grew up. Dr. Mellow would sell his products to the high school freshmen for WAY below market prices. Then, when the kids were addicted — boom! — the clever doctor would jack up the prices and make a fortune off the newly minted pot heads.
Speaking of newly minted pot heads, is anybody besides me a little uneasy about the number of states that have legalized recreational marijuana? It’s turning into an industry that soon will dwarf Google for sheer size. The libertarian in me says, “Hey, people are going to get high anyway, so it might as well be regulated and taxed.” But the cautious senior citizen in me says, “Hey, get off my lawn!” No, wait. I mean, the cautious senior citizen in me says, “Hmm, do we really want to send the message to young people that becoming a ‘fog-brain’ is no big deal?”
Take it from me, a former 1970s fog-brain. I know using a substance that ruins a person’s ability to concentrate is not a good thing. Or to paraphrase Dean Wormer, “Fat, high, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
OK, enough about drug addiction. Let’s return to my original theme: TV addiction. When I complained to a coworker that YouTube TV raised their prices yet again, he said, “Well, then just cancel the service.”
A half hour later, after the smelling salts revived me, I realized the sad truth: I am addicted to TV. Just cancel the service? At the exact time when live baseball games finally are being televised? I can’t do that. The withdrawal symptom would be too painful.
OK, enough about drug addiction. Let’s return to my original theme: TV addiction. When I complained to a coworker that YouTube TV raised their prices yet again, he said, “Well, then just cancel the service.”
A half hour later, after the smelling salts revived me, I realized the sad truth: I am addicted to TV. Just cancel the service? At the exact time when live baseball games finally are being televised? I can’t do that. The withdrawal symptom would be too painful.
So, whether it’s Dr. Mellow or Dr. Google, those drug dealers really know how to get someone hooked. Because it’s been so long since I’ve had anything to do with Dr. Mellow’s product, my concentration has never been better. And tonight, I’m going to concentrate on the baseball games, using, of course, YouTube TV. (Assuming Covid hasn’t shut them down again.) But if they ever raise the price above $100 per month, I definitely will cancel the service. Maybe.
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