Saturday, March 6, 2021

A Beatles Song for the Aged

Whenever there is a popular song with a number in the title that matches my age, I am compelled to write song parody lyrics. Back when I turned 55, the Eagles’ song “Ol’ 55” was the perfect opportunity. Here’s a sample of the parody from back then:
 
“Well, the time went so quickly / and I never felt sickly, till I turned ol’ 55 / As I limped away slowly, feeling so lowly / God knows how I’m staying alive / And now my blood pressure’s up / And bifocals are a must / Knee brace and a truss / Health beginning to fade, Lipitor every day / Just a wishing I’d slept a little longer / Lord, don’t you know, fatigue is getting stronger.”
I suppose there are silly lyrics I can write to the tune of “76 Trombones,” but I’m not going to hit that age for a while yet.
 
However, coming up in a couple of days is the big one: the age that Paul McCartney famously wrote about. No, I’m not referring to: “Well, she was just 17 / You know what I mean.”

By the way, when Paul sang that song in concert when he was, say, in his 40s or 50s, it must’ve been a little creepy, huh? Or how about when Ringo belted out his hit song, “You’re 16, you’re beautiful, and you’re mine”? There are certain songs, originally written from a teenager’s point of view, that really need to be avoided by middle-aged singers. Just sayin’.

Anyway, I’m referring, of course, to the hit song that appeared on the ground-breaking “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album: “When I’m Sixty-Four.”

McCartney actually wrote that song when he was a teenager, but the Beatles didn’t use it until they were working on the Sgt. Pepper album many years later. When he wrote the song, McCartney surely could not imagine himself being age 64. I know I couldn’t imagine being 64 as recently as, um, last month.
Sir Paul is now age 78, so in his mind these days, being 64 is probably considered the good ol’ days of his youth. When Paul wrote the song, he was looking many decades into the future, trying to envision what life would be like for a man and his wife. In my case, I don’t have to look into the future, unless you consider Saturday the future. So, my parody lyrics focus on the here and now, no speculation needed.

Now that I’m older, losing more hair / Couple days from now / Will you still be giving me some Geritol / Birthday greetings, careful don’t fall

If I wake up at quarter to three / Where’s the bathroom door? / Will you still love me, are you sick of me? / Now I’m sixty-four

You’re a senior too / And if you say the word / I’ll grow old with you

I can get cranky, blowing a fuse / When my hat gets lost / You can sit there patient by the fireside / Waiting as my anger subsides / Point to my head, the hat’s sitting there / Why’d I get so sore? / Will you still love me, are you sick of me? / Now I’m sixty-four

Every summer we can rent a cottage / In the Island of Rhode, near the Charlestown beach / Sunsets make us glad / Grandchildren on your knee / Muffy, Biff, and Tad

Send me a message, email is fine / Say what’s on your mind / Indicate precisely what I need to do / I’m sincerely nuts about you

Give me your answer, send me a text / Mine for evermore / Will you still love me, are you sick of me? / Now I’m sixty-four

 

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