Friday, September 24, 2021

LinkedIn Offers Inspirational Quotations

At least two or three times each day I check the LinkedIn website. LinkedIn is known as “Facebook for Business,” and that’s kind of true. It is a social media website, with posts and likes and comments, similar to Facebook. But most of the postings are work-related, and in my sales and marketing job, I often post photos of products we sell and projects we’ve worked on — just like the other 774 million people around the world who use the platform. (I got that number from a Google search. It might be over 800 million people by the time I finish typing this essay.)

Anyway, many of the posts on LinkedIn are motivational or inspirational quotations. Or as I like to call them: silly sayings, corny comments, banal bromides, mundane musings, dopey dictums, moronic maxims, trite truisms, asinine axioms, and vapid verbiage. (Wow, the previous sentence required me to spend 20 minutes digging though the website. I bet you weren’t aware of how much time I waste, er, I mean, how much effort goes into these essays?)

Here are some inspirational quotations I found on LinkedIn (plus some parenthetical observations from your faithful scribe):

“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” (That won’t happen since today is being dominated by concerns about tomorrow.)

“Today is a good day for a good day.” (But what if today turns out to be a bad day for a bad day, and nothing even resembling a good day is anywhere in sight? Ever have one of those kinds of days? A few years ago I was stressed-out because I was running late for a meeting, and then I got a flat tire when I was about 10 miles away. That was a bad day that quickly got much worse.) 
“Don’t tell people your plan, show them your results.” (This doesn’t work so well in strategy meetings. “So, Dunn, how do you plan to take care of this problem?” “Just wait for my results, Boss.” “No, really. What are your plans?” “Can’t tell you.” “That’s it. Clean out your desk!”)

“Promote what you love rather than bash what you hate.” (I like this one, especially since it’s the motto of politically-oriented cable TV shows. Oh wait, I mean, it’s the exact opposite of those shows. This might have been a good motivational quote in, say, 1954. But now it causes most people to shout, “What a stupid quote. I hate it!”)

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (Mediocrity is pretty habit-forming, too. Just sayin’.)

“Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.” (Tell that to someone who fell down and broke a hip. “C’mon, Grandma, stop your whining and get up! Don’t you know you’ve got a choice?!”)

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” (Actually, it most certainly is too late, and I can say that with confidence even though I have no idea what I might have been.)
“Surround yourself with people who push you to do better.” (Surround myself with my 6th grade math teacher and my high school football coach? No thanks! I appreciate what they did for me, but those were painful times.)

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” (What am I, a farmer? Why the focus on growth? Can’t I just hang out in a comfort zone for a while without getting nagged by inspirational quotes on LinkedIn?)

“The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.” (Well, if that’s true, I’m a genius, because I just spent the last two hours typing 600 words of nothing.)

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