Don’t Be Too Judgmental

Recently, my wife and I met with some old friends from the church we used to attend. When I say, “old” friends, I mean we’ve known them for a long time, not that they’re elderly people. (But now that I think about it, all of us were born when Eisenhower was president, so you do the math.) 

We used to be part of a prayer group that met regularly before Covid. Since then, my wife and I moved to a different town, so we don’t see them much anymore. When we got together last month, we had a delightful afternoon praying the Rosary together, and of course, chatting about all kinds of topics. It was such a nice gathering, the wives in attendance didn’t even mind (too much) when my friend Gerry and I kept talking about baseball. 

At one point during our conversations, someone mentioned a person they know whose arms are completely covered with tattoos, from the wrists right up to the shoulders. Since everyone present at our little gathering was a Baby Boomer right around retirement age, not surprisingly there was not a single tattoo among the six of us. We started describing people we’ve met in recent years who are just covered in tattoos, along with nose rings, pink hair, and stretched out earlobe holes containing disks about the size of teacup saucers.

The general consensus of our discussion can be summarized in two comments: “Yuck!” and, “I just don’t get it!”

After a while, someone said, “I think we’re being a little too judgmental.”

The fact is, we were being quite judgmental. We kind of fell into that old familiar pattern of criticizing anyone and anything that is different. 

Being critical of people who are different is not unique to six particular church friends in western Connecticut. But generally speaking, when people start talking about those who are different, with everyone taking turns throwing fuel on the fire, the conversation can get rather mean-spirited. 

It reminds me of the most powerful song in the history of Broadway musicals: “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught.” This little tune from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “South Pacific,” only lasts for slightly more than a minute during the show, but it packs a punch. Here are the lyrics:

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear
You’ve got to be taught from year to year
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade
You've got to be carefully taught

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be carefully taught

By the way, that little song caused quite a stir when “South Pacific” premiered in 1949. Later, when the show went on tour in southern states, legislators tried to have it outlawed. But Rodgers and Hammerstein refused to give in, saying they’d rather the whole production fail than delete that one song.

Anyway, although the conversation my friends and I engaged in was rather judgmental toward those who embrace tattoos and piercings, I’m very glad we quickly realized our behavior was not very Christ-like. We repented and then had a good laugh speculating that maybe those of us who prefer not to be covered in tattoos are the real oddballs in our society.

The teachings of Jesus can really prevent a person from straying off track. We were reminded of that fact when our little gathering got a bit judgmental. In our polarized culture, there are so many folks who work themselves into a hate-filled lather toward people who are different, and they feel quite justified in doing so. They really need the Prince of Peace to set them straight.

When you truly understand that every human being was created in the image of God and is loved very much by Him, it’s really hard to bad-mouth them. I’m very glad our little group quickly realized that. 

But just so you know, I’m not getting a tattoo anytime soon.