Then, after a while, I noticed one young man, who was standing in the shallow end of the pool with a few of his friends. He was talking very quickly and very loudly and completely non-stop. Frankly, it was amazing. This guy had a terrific voice, kind of like a radio announcer. He was articulate, with excellent enunciation skills.
![](https://mcusercontent.com/977dc4c72d55a6c7782f34fb9/images/e793d93b-753c-91a3-e5fa-83b7938a7e38.png)
As someone who does a little public speaking now and then, I was extremely impressed with, and jealous of, his vocalization talent. What a set of pipes!
But here’s the thing: this young man’s non-stop soliloquy, however well-delivered, was completely inane. He spoke thousands of words over the course of 20 minutes, and every single one of those words was meaningless. He talked about his car (a Honda Accord); he talked about his dog (Sparky); he talked about his job (dispatcher for a freight company); he talked about his favorite team (the New York Yankees); he talked about his girlfriend (Darlene, who apparently was not present, based on the comments he made about her); and he talked about his favorite eatery (New England Pizza in Vernon). These particular topics certainly have aspects about them that can be interesting. And yet Mr. Chatterbox did not offer a single interesting take. Every single thing he said about every single topic was fatuous, insipid, pointless, vacuous, and vapid. (Yes, I had to turn to the Thesaurus to paint a complete picture of this gentleman’s performance.)
![](https://mcusercontent.com/977dc4c72d55a6c7782f34fb9/images/e80fe25b-fddd-f97e-40c4-9246a142dbf9.gif)
I was angry at myself for not bringing my noise-canceling earbuds with me. On the other hand, I’m not sure the latest technology from Apple’s laboratories can keep up with this guy.
What that young man needs is a writer on staff. I was tempted to go over to him and offer my services. “Sir,” I planned to say, “you have a real gift for speaking. But what you need are some interesting words to speak. I’ve been known to string together a few sentences and tell engaging stories once in a while. How about we work together? I’ll write the copy, and you recite it.”
![](https://mcusercontent.com/977dc4c72d55a6c7782f34fb9/images/c3d7587e-e0dd-3155-be6b-02667a264f48.jpg)
The next time I go to the pool, I’ll bring my earbuds. And if they’re unable to block out Galloping Gabby, I’ll contact Apple Corp. This could be their biggest technological challenge ever.