Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Is Retirement Hazardous to Your Health?

 Recently I had some dental work done, and upon meeting the oral surgeon, the first thing she said to me was, “So, Mr. Dunn, have you retired yet? Or are you still working?”

 
Hmm, I guess my ploy of wearing my baseball hat backwards and not tying the laces on my sneakers is not fooling anyone into thinking I’m only 20 years old. I replied to the doctor, “Oh no, I didn’t win life’s lottery. When I got out of college, I wasn’t smart enough to go to work for the government and get one of those gold-plated, lifetime pensions. So, I’ll have to work another five years or so before I can afford to retire.”
 
Just when I was starting to feel sorry for myself that I am forced to work at a job I enjoy, which pays me enough to cover my expenses, I read an article about retirement. The title of the article was, “Want to Retire Early? How It Can Actually Kill You.”
 
Citing statistics from multiple studies, the article noted that for many retirees, “instead of crossing items off a bucket list, some are kicking the bucket.”
 
It seems the sudden shock of going from a very busy, purposeful life to just hanging around the house all day produces many adverse physical and emotional effects. Some people use their new-found abundant free time to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. If you think working in an office and eating lunch at the hotdog joint across the street is an unhealthy lifestyle — and it is — lounging on the couch for nine straight hours in your bathrobe while inhaling multiple bags of cheese doodles can make even the most vibrant cardiovascular system say, “Sorry, pal, I quit.”
 
Retirees often experience loneliness and depression. The hustle and bustle of work may be exasperating at times (especially when you’re in a meeting with Wendell from Accounting, who makes an annoying slurping sound when he drinks coffee), but it often is intellectually stimulating and invigorating. Going from that environment to one where you spend all day having one-sided conversations with the hosts of infomercials makes people long for the opportunity to hang out and chat with Wendell — annoying slurping and all. According to the article I read, “The likelihood someone will become clinically depressed rises by 40% after retiring.”
 
A big impact on mortality, according to the article, is this: “Once you retire, there’s a lot more time to think about death.” Many people view retirement as the last stage of life before it comes to an end. Making the move from active employment to retirement causes the perception of the end of one’s life to jump from a far distant future to right around the corner. Jack Guttentag, a professor at The Wharton School, said, “You always knew intellectually that life was short, but during the years when you were building a career and a family, the emotional recognition of that fact was kept at bay.” It’s often a type of self-fulfilling prophecy, as retired people now have plenty of time to worry themselves sick.
 
Experts recommend that retired people stay busy. It’s important to have a set schedule. Get involved with various groups and volunteer your time. Focus on helping other people. Keep your mind active and engaged. Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like having a job, but with no paycheck.
 
I think I’ll just skip the seismic lifestyle shift and the stress of retirement by staying at my job for as long as I can. Going to work every day seems a lot more enjoyable than the way retirement is described in that article. And that’s even factoring in Wendell’s annoying slurping.

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