My wife and I have a new game we play to pass the time while watching a boring baseball game. (By the way, some people think ALL baseball games are boring. To be honest, the pace of play has gotten so slow in recent years, I’m having a harder and harder time refuting that claim.)
Whenever the TV shows a close-up of one of the players standing near the box seats by the dugout, we try to find at least one spectator who is not looking down at his or her smartphone. Go ahead and try it out. When the camera shows six or so fans in the background, invariably they all are staring at their phones.
Sometimes it takes us a few innings before we finally see someone. “Hey look!” I’ll yell. “That guy in the green hat is actually looking out at the field. I saw him first! So, you have to go in the kitchen and fill up the pretzel bowl!”
Other times my wife will call out, “I see one! That lady in the white top is the only one watching the game. You have to go in the kitchen and make some tea.”
Then I’ll say, “No, that doesn’t count. I wasn’t looking at the TV.” I make this statement with all sincerity, as if looking down at my smartphone on the couch suspends our little game, rather than being evidence of why we play the game in the first place: the world has become addicted to smartphones.
This situation raises a very important question: Why do women refer to their shirts as “tops”? I mean, c’mon, that makes no sense. It’s a shirt, so call it a shirt.
Other times my wife will call out, “I see one! That lady in the white top is the only one watching the game. You have to go in the kitchen and make some tea.”
Then I’ll say, “No, that doesn’t count. I wasn’t looking at the TV.” I make this statement with all sincerity, as if looking down at my smartphone on the couch suspends our little game, rather than being evidence of why we play the game in the first place: the world has become addicted to smartphones.
This situation raises a very important question: Why do women refer to their shirts as “tops”? I mean, c’mon, that makes no sense. It’s a shirt, so call it a shirt.
No, wait. I’m sorry. The important question here is: why do people cough up literally multiple hundreds of dollars to buy box seat tickets for a major league baseball game and then spend 90% of the time looking down at their phones?
In many ways, I get it. Baseball can be really boring at times. But still, when you see a camera shot of a player in the on-deck circle, and all seven spectators in the background are staring down at their phones, something is wrong.
Some people might claim that what is wrong is baseball. The game is boring, with way too much dead time between pitches and very little exciting moments. People who claim this, of course, don’t know what they’re talking about. Baseball is not the problem.
(Don’t get me wrong. Baseball has problems, but it’s kind of like when I was a kid. Back then it was OK for me to make fun of my younger brother, but if someone outside the family picked on him, I’d come to my baby bro’s defense in a heartbeat. In the same way, only true baseball fans are allowed to criticize baseball. All the whiners who don’t know Tom Seaver from Tom Brokaw need to zip it.)
No, the real problem is that smartphones are too awesome. Think about it: there is an entire universe of information, videos, and personal connections inside that little flat rectangle of glass and aluminum that fits so nicely into our back pockets. That’s why they are so addicting.
In many ways, I get it. Baseball can be really boring at times. But still, when you see a camera shot of a player in the on-deck circle, and all seven spectators in the background are staring down at their phones, something is wrong.
Some people might claim that what is wrong is baseball. The game is boring, with way too much dead time between pitches and very little exciting moments. People who claim this, of course, don’t know what they’re talking about. Baseball is not the problem.
(Don’t get me wrong. Baseball has problems, but it’s kind of like when I was a kid. Back then it was OK for me to make fun of my younger brother, but if someone outside the family picked on him, I’d come to my baby bro’s defense in a heartbeat. In the same way, only true baseball fans are allowed to criticize baseball. All the whiners who don’t know Tom Seaver from Tom Brokaw need to zip it.)
No, the real problem is that smartphones are too awesome. Think about it: there is an entire universe of information, videos, and personal connections inside that little flat rectangle of glass and aluminum that fits so nicely into our back pockets. That’s why they are so addicting.
In last week’s column about “digital amnesia,” I mentioned a book by Catherine Price called How to Break Up with Your Phone. Well, I recently downloaded the book and just finished reading it using the Kindle app — on my phone. (Irony detectors are beeping like crazy right now.)
Next week, I’ll discuss what I learned from Price’s terrific book. In the meantime, keep an eye on the ballgame, or else you might have to go make some tea.
Next week, I’ll discuss what I learned from Price’s terrific book. In the meantime, keep an eye on the ballgame, or else you might have to go make some tea.
No comments:
Post a Comment