Wandering Mind During Eucharistic Adoration

Recently, I went to Eucharistic Adoration at my parish. We have it twice per month on Friday evenings. Typically, by that time I’m tired from a long week at work, so instead of going to Adoration with my wife, I’ll tell her, “Have fun, hon,” and then I’ll kick back on the couch and watch the Red Sox pregame show.

(By the way, if I somehow could get back all the hours I’ve spent watching sports on TV, I’d probably spend those hours … watching sports on TV. I suspect this fact about me will require a bunch of extra time in Purgatory to cleanse my soul of the sin of “bad priorities.”)

Anyway, as I mentioned at the beginning, recently I did accompany my wife to Adoration. (Hmm, it must’ve been a light week at work.) When I kneeled and gazed at the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, inside the monstrance upon the altar, my prayer echoed St. Thomas when he saw the risen Jesus for the first time: ‘My Lord and my God!”

I prayed that fabulous declaration a few times, as the reality of Who was right in front of me sank in. Adoration is really a special spiritual exercise.

Then, about 15 minutes later, my prayer changed to the plea of the father who brought his son to Jesus for healing. This desperate man exclaimed, “I do believe, help my unbelief!”

You see, after my initial awe while in front of the Blessed Sacrament, my mind started to wander. As I kneeled in that quiet church, this is what my brain started thinking about: Who is the starting pitcher for the Red Sox tonight? I can’t forget to finish up a project at work that I didn’t quite complete earlier this afternoon. Where should we go out to dinner on Saturday night? Should I order steak or salmon at the restaurant? Did I have any red meat this week? Maybe steak will be OK. Do I need to do laundry this weekend? Do I have any business trips coming up this month? How much cash do I have in my wallet right now? Hmm, I haven’t wondered that in ages, so why am I concerned about it now? If I pull my phone out of my pocket and check email, will my wife give me a glare? Yeah, I’d better wait till later. How long do I have to kneel before it’s OK to sit down? Does my car need an oil change? It seems like a long time since the last one. I’d better make a mental note to check that out. And on and on and on.

Every insignificant random thought that could enter my skull did. It’s like I walked into church and suddenly develop E.A.A.D.D. (Eucharistic Adoration Attention Deficit Disorder.) When I realized exactly where I was and what my brain had been up to for the past 15 minutes, I focused on the Eucharist and quietly prayed, “Jesus, I do believe, help my unbelief! Or better yet, help my lack of concentration!”

The Eucharist is truly Emmanuel, God with us. Jesus could not have been more clear in John, chapter 6. And St. Paul further reinforced the fact that Jesus is really present in the Eucharist in 1 Corinthians, chapter 11. The Eucharist is, as the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, the “source and summit of the Christian life.”

You would think, number one, that I would get to Adoration more often rather than choose to watch the Red Sox pre-game show after feigning exhaustion; and number two, when I do go to Adoration, that I’d be able to focus on the body and blood, soul and divinity of the Creator of the Universe for more than, say, three minutes.

I saw an interesting quote online recently: “Thankfully, none of us have ever disappointed God, since He knew from the beginning that we were idiots.”

The only explanation for my behavior at Adoration is the fact that I’m an idiot. But despite that, God is filled with compassion, forgiveness, and mercy. So, I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

I highly recommend going to Eucharistic Adoration whenever possible. But if you’re like me, be prepared to pray, “I do believe, help my unbelief! And especially help my lack of concentration!”