For a long time I’ve been searching
the Bible trying to find exactly where it says members of the Catholic Church always
behave perfectly. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to locate that verse, which
probably explains a common situation I’ve observed over the years.
Here’s the situation: an elderly
person in town passes away, and a family member contacts the local parish
office and requests a funeral in the church. No, request is the wrong word. The
family member DEMANDS a funeral in the church—at a particular time and on a
particular day. However, neither the dearly departed nor any of the surviving relatives
have ever set foot in that church, nor have they ever been registered in the
parish or involved in a single parish activity.
It doesn’t matter. The family member
indignantly says, “Grandma was raised Catholic, so you are REQUIRED to give her
a full funeral.”
Frankly, I’m not sure what local
parishes are required to do in this situation, but I know on the few occasions
when I’ve observed this scenario, the parish priest did not do what I would’ve
done if I had been the priest. If I were in charge, I’m pretty sure the
expression, “Don’t let the door hit you in the *bleep* on the way out!”
would’ve been part of my concluding comments.
When I’ve observed this scenario in
local parishes over the years, the priest has gone out of his way to provide
the appropriate service or funeral for the deceased—even if, as I suspect, he
had to work hard to suppress the urge to smack the family member upside his
ungrateful head.
These are the moments when we get a
good glimpse at why a man became a priest in the first place. He was called by
God to minister to hurting souls here in our broken and fallen world. And even
though it can be infuriating to have to deal with someone who is rude and
demanding, that very behavior often indicates the person is hurting deep down
inside.
Most priests understand this and are
able to ignore boorish and offensive behavior, and are able to offer genuine
spiritual help even under the most unpleasant circumstances. There is a very
good reason why I am not a Catholic priest, even better than the fact I was
married with a child before I stopped being an atheist. The even better reason
is the fact I’m much more prone to blurt out, “Don’t let the door hit you in
the *bleep*,” when someone makes a rude and demanding request of me. I’ve been
searching the Bible trying to find out exactly where it says, “When someone
strikes you on the cheek, turn the other fist and deck him,” but I can’t seem
to locate that verse.
I am constantly amazed at how
compassionate and forgiving our priests really are. They do an amazing job of
ministering to hurting people. Despite this, there still are situations that make
you shake your head in amazement.
Many years ago, here is the exact
scenario that occurred: After an elderly person died, the family demanded a
Catholic funeral, even though no one in the family had been active in the
parish for decades. The pastor did the funeral Mass, and did the best job he
could, considering he had never met the deceased.
So, a few days later a scathing
letter-to-the-editor appeared in the local newspaper, written by one of the
family members. The letter ripped the priest to shreds—by name. Apparently, the
family expected the priest to drop everything he was doing and focus his
undivided attention on them for three straight days. When he didn’t, they
decided to insult him publicly. Nice, huh?
I’ve been searching the Bible trying
to find exactly where Jesus commands us to tell people, “Don’t let the door hit
you in the *bleep*,” but I can’t seem to locate that verse. It’s a good thing
our priests are a whole lot more understanding than I am.
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