It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn

Recently, the Archdiocese of Hartford announced sweeping changes to the parishes in the city of Waterbury, CT. Some churches will be closed, and others will be merged with larger parishes. Not surprisingly, many people are quite upset at this news. A common lament goes something like this: “My grandparents built this church! How dare you shut it down!”

There’s no doubt the closing of a parish is a painful experience. Especially for people who have been loyal and faithful parishioners for decades, along with those whose ancestors literally constructed the church building a century or more ago. Whenever this occurs, it surely feels like a death in the family. A multitude of powerful memories are created inside parish churches: baptisms, first Communions, weddings, Christmas pageants, and yes, even funerals. 

The local parish church used to be the center of community life for many generations of Americans. There are still some folks who feel this way about their neighborhood congregation.
 
However, as we all know, times have changed – and quite drastically. In the wake of the big announcement about the churches in Waterbury, the local daily newspaper ran a survey. Now, this particular survey was not scientific in nature; it was simply a multiple-choice questionnaire. The respondents were people who visit the newspaper’s website. But the replies were telling.

The single, simple question was: “Do you go to church?”

Thirty-one percent replied, “Yes, regularly,” and 12-percent said, “No, never.” Another 12-percent answered, “Only on special occasions like holidays or weddings.” 

Finally, 45-percent of respondents answered that survey question, “Do you go to church?” by saying, “No, but I used to go.”

Well, if you want to know why many city parishes have to be closed or merged, look no further. If close to half of survey respondents say that they used to attend church but no longer do, you know exactly why the good ol’ days are a distant memory.

For discussion purposes, let’s say a small parish needs a minimum of $300,000 income per year to break even with its expenses: heat, lights, insurance, salaries, maintenance, etc. But if the pews are mostly empty during Masses and that particular parish brings in less than $100,000 per year in donations, it doesn’t take a Ph.D. in mathematics to understand that there’s a big problem here.

If the worldwide Church was merely a man-made institution, then I’d say it looks like it might be on the verge of going the Blockbuster Video and Radio Shack route; that is, it will continue to shrink until it eventually ceases to exist.

But the Church is not a man-made institution. The Church was founded by Jesus Himself, and therefore it has a Divine guarantee of being victorious. So, instead of lamenting the fact that Mass attendance is currently shrinking and parishes are closing, let’s be excited and joyful. Why? Because we know that God is about to do an amazing miracle. He is going to revitalize His Church and make it once again a beacon of hope and peace in a troubled world.

Just look around. Are people happy and content these days? Has abandoning the worship of God made folks more peaceful and serene? Hardly. 

I truly believe we are on the verge of a new and wonderful revival. Ignoring our Divine Creator just doesn’t work. And since Jesus is the one who offers the world “peace that passes all understanding,” it’s just a matter of time before people finally become so desperate they give the “faith of our fathers” another look. 

So, please don’t despair. The situation does look bleak right now. But don’t forget: things looked REALLY bleak when Jesus hung on that cross. Three days later, however, Sunday finally came and everyone’s sorrow turned to joy.

A new Sunday is coming for our Church. Lost sheep are going to find their way back to the Shepherd. And when they do, it will be glorious. 

Maybe I Should Try the Pony Express

How would you like to go a full month without getting a single piece of junk mail? That sounds great, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s what happened to my wife and me recently, and the no junk mail thing was indeed great. But there was one small negative aspect to this situation: for the entire month we did not receive a single piece of regular mail either. No letters, no magazines, no checks, no bank statements, no doctor appointment reminders, no birthday cards, and no bills. (The no bills part sounds great at first. But then when you discover you are delinquent in paying a bunch of invoices and your credit rating just took a major tumble, it’s actually not so great.)

So, how were we lucky enough to go an entire month without receiving a single item in the mail? That’s easy: we moved. Now, moving to a new home is not exactly an odd thing. People do it all the time. The Post Office has a simple “Change of Address” form to fill out. The last time we moved, we filled out that form and everything was fine. (Other than the fact someone at the Post Office typed in our new address incorrectly, so all our mail was forwarded to the condo unit next to us. But 50 feet away is much better than two counties away.)

Nowadays, however, the Post Office has instituted new safety measures. When you complete a Change of Address form, they won’t forward your mail until the new address has been verified. According to a letter carrier (who was more than willing to talk to me one afternoon about this issue for an hour while she sat in her mail truck and I stood in front of my mailbox), there has been a rash of change of address scams. Apparently, people were filling out bogus change of address forms and having someone’s else's mail forwarded to, for example, a seedy apartment they rented for a month. The scammer would go through the mail looking for cash, checks, and personal identification information. Then after a month, they would move on to a different seedy apartment and scam a bunch of other people.

As a result, the Post Office now has a multi-step verification process to make sure people are legitimately moving to the new address. However, as far as my wife and I can figure, telling the letter carrier that we’re definitely moving and having her reply, “I’ll take care of it,” is not a valid verification option. Going to the Post Office, filling out the proper form, and having the person behind the counter say, “I’ll take care of it,” also is not a valid verification option. And calling the Post Office two weeks into the no-mail saga, pleading with the gentleman on the line to start forwarding our mail, and having him say, “I’ll take care of it,” is yet another fruitless option.

The official verification process involves going to a Postal Service website and entering a special verification code. I did that. Then, a week later, I did it again. Then after another week, I did it two more times. Each of the four times I did the online verification process, I received a message saying everything was all set and I would be receiving my forwarded mail right away. Hmm, I guess different people have different definitions of the term “right away.” To me it means: by the end of the week. To the Post Office, apparently, it means: by the end of the millennium. 

If you would like to share your experience with the USPS, send me an email. But please, DON’T put a letter in the mail! 

Has Tipping Reached a Tipping Point?

Have you noticed that everyone is looking for a tip nowadays? No, I don’t mean info about which horse is going to win the 4th race at Saratoga. I mean monetary tips, when you give money to someone who provides a service.

Not long ago, you would tip the waitstaff person at a restaurant — 15% typically, and up to 20% for excellent service. That was about it, except for giving some money to the newspaper delivery guy at Christmas, and tips for the taxi driver during those rare visits to New York City. Also, many bartenders would put a large glass in the middle of the bar with some dollar bills in it, and the patrons would add a few bucks, especially if the bartender had a sympathetic ear. (Since I quit drinking 38 years and 8 months ago — but who’s counting? — I’m not sure how bartenders operate these days.)

Anyway, that was then. Now, everybody is expecting a tip. I first noticed this tipping trend at the Hartford Yard Goats minor league baseball games. The team’s season was canceled in 2020 because of Covid. When they resumed playing in 2021 the entire ballpark had become cashless, supposedly to protect everyone from sharing germs when passing cash back and forth. All purchases had to be made with credit cards.

That’s the first time I was introduced to the “screen turn.” You pay for your two hotdogs and a Coke with your credit card, and then the person working the concession stand rotates a computer tablet on a stand toward you. The screen says “Add a Tip?” and offers some options. You have to make a selection in order to complete your transaction. The choices are usually something like: “15 percent,” “20 percent,” and “25 percent.” Below in tiny print is, “None.”

For the past half-century, I don’t ever remember tipping the person who sold me a hotdog. When I finally experienced this, I thought: “Tip? Really? You didn’t bring me food while I sat at a table. You just reached back, grabbed two hotdogs and a soda and put them on the counter.”

So, did I press the “None” button on the screen? Of course not. In about half a second, these thoughts raced through my brain: “Should I do 15%? It’s the lowest option, but maybe too low. Twenty-five percent is too high. Sheesh, I guess I’d better push the 20% button.” And that’s when I added another $4.60 to an already over-priced purchase.

Why didn’t I press the “None” button? Because of a concept psychologists call “the power of the nudge.” The person who serves you is standing three feet away, staring at you. He’s not demanding a tip, but turning that screen creates undeniable social pressure. You are being gently but forcefully nudged into giving a tip. You don’t want to be a jerk, and besides, the server would only have to move his hand six inches to “accidentally” shove his thumb into one of your hotdogs. So, you just press “20%” to get out of that awkward situation. 

Then, as you walk back to your seat, carrying your hotdogs and Coke, you shake your head and mumble, “What just happened?”

The Wall Street Journal had an article about this phenomenon titled, “You Want 20% for Handing Me a Muffin?!”

Besides ballparks, tablets on stands and the pressure-packed “screen turns” are now ubiquitous at coffee places, sandwich shops, and many other retail establishments. 

This guilt tipping thing is kind of annoying. I just hope when I pay my electric bill online next month, Eversource hasn’t added a new “tip page” to the process. Trust me, 20% of what those guys charge nowadays is not spare change. 

Receiving the Eucharist Reverently

Have you gone to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles lately? You see people waiting in line, bored, listless, hands in their pockets. They slowly make their way forward. When they finally get what they came for, they make a beeline for the parking lot. “There,” they think to themselves, “that obligation of getting the car registered is done. Won’t have to come back here again, hopefully for another year or two.” 

A lot of people have the same attitude and appearance when they receive communion at Mass (including the part about not coming back for another year or two). They wait in line, bored, listless, hands in their pockets. They slowly make their way forward. When they finally get what they came for, they make a beeline for the parking lot. 

Most of us in the pews can’t quite see what happens at Communion. But in talking to a few priests and deacons over the years, apparently the manner in which many people receive the Eucharist is downright dreadful. It seems our parishes have an epidemic of irreverence. 

Some people hold out their hand to receive the host with all the enthusiasm of a guy waiting at a bus stop checking to see if it just started to rain. 

Some people snatch the host from the priest or deacon’s hand like they were taking a number at the deli counter. You almost expect them to stand off to the side waiting for their number to be called and then order a pound of liverwurst. 

Some people commit gross violations, such as waiting until they return to the pew before consuming the host, or even worse, breaking it in pieces and sharing it with young children who have not had their First Communion yet. 

But it’s really not so much a problem of irreverence. It’s a problem of ignorance. Receiving Communion has become a rote ritual for many Catholics, similar to a trip to the DMV, because we’ve forgotten what is present in the Eucharist — or rather, WHO is present. 

Most of us haven’t heard a detailed explanation of the Church’s doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist since CCD class in the 4th grade. I don’t know about you, but when I was in the 4th grade, I had the attention span of a chipmunk on crack. (Actually, that’s an insult to chipmunks — my attention span was much worse.) 

Anyway, let’s just say it’s been a long time since the average Catholic was taught that the bread and wine are truly transformed into the body and blood, soul and divinity, of Jesus. It is not symbolic. It is not merely a remembrance ceremony. It is truly Jesus in the flesh. 

How can this happen, you ask? Well, it’s a divine, supernatural miracle. If we’re Catholic, we already believe in miracles: the Virgin Birth, the Resurrection, the Red Sox winning the World Series in our lifetime. We believe miraculous things are possible when God causes them to happen. Just look in the mirror. Your very existence is a supernatural miracle. Of course, some folks look rather super, while the rest of us look a little too natural. 

We believe the bread and wine truly become the body and blood of Jesus. Now we don’t believe this because it sounds nice, or because some Church leaders told us it’s true. We believe it because Jesus Himself clearly taught that it’s true. When you have a few minutes, go read John’s gospel, chapter 6, and pay close attention to Jesus’ blunt words. The fact that Jesus Himself taught that His body and blood truly are present in the Eucharist makes all the difference in the world. 

So at Mass, let’s try to be more reverent when we receive Communion. Let’s remember exactly WHO is being placed in our hands. And you don’t even have to bring your vehicle registration form with you. 

Time for Believers to be Happy

You’ve all heard the old stereotype about religious church-going people, right? Faithful folks are depicted as dour and sour, waving a Bible in one hand and wagging a finger with the other hand. The stereotype is that people of faith spend their time condemning non-religious people, and often proclaiming that they’re all going to hell in a handbasket. The church-goers supposedly are angry and frustrated, and as H.L. Mencken noted, they have “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

Unfortunately, there have been more than enough judgmental and grim religious people over the years to keep this old stereotype alive. We all probably can think of some relatives who constantly complained about the people who were drinking and carousing and living in sin. It’s almost as if Aunt Gertrude or Uncle Caleb were secretly jealous that other people were having so much carefree fun.

However, as our culture has evolved during the last few decades, something very interesting has occurred. Nowadays, the people who are the most dour and sour, judgmental and grim, are the secular non-believers who never go to church.

If you don’t believe me, just watch the news. Now, please be aware, the media always portrays religious people in a bad light. If you watch TV, you certainly will see plenty of church folks depicted as ignorant and intolerant yahoos. That just goes with the territory. But look closely. These days, which group of people is REALLY angry? Who is vandalizing churches and pregnancy care centers? Who is screaming and throwing temper tantrums in front of the Supreme Court building? Who is smashing windows and splashing paint on priceless artwork? Who is blocking traffic and trying to get someone fired for using the wrong pronouns? It is none other than the so-called liberated secular people. It’s the folks who claim to have broken free from the repressive shackles of organized religion, which makes them the epitome of peace and tolerance. 

Except…. they don’t seem all that peaceful and tolerant these days. In fact, I’d say the old stereotype about moralizing nags now applies to them way more than it applies to church-going folks.

So, at this crossroads in history, it is more important than ever that people of faith show the world that trusting in God really fills a person with joy and contentment, hope and love. 

We’ve been commanded by the Lord Himself to share the Gospel message. Sometimes, the best way to do that is to live a joyful life, confident in the knowledge that God is in charge, and that “all things work for good for those who love the Lord.”

When our daily lives exude peace and forgiveness, despite all the chaos and anger in our modern world, people will become curious. They’ll wonder why we’re so calm in the midst of a cultural storm. This gives us the perfect opportunity to say, “It’s my faith in God. He comforts me.”

We also need to follow another important teaching from Jesus. The Lord said, “Pray for those who persecute you.” It’s impossible to be loving and patient with someone who is verbally – or nowadays, physically – attacking you. That is, it’s impossible without supernatural assistance. But if we remember that every single person – even the purple-haired harridan throwing a brick through a church window – has been created by God and is loved very much by Him, we can genuinely care for that person’s troubled soul. We can then sincerely pray for God Almighty to bless and transform that person.

Things have changed a full 180 degrees in the past couple of generations. It is now the angry secularists who have “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

Therefore, it’s our duty to demonstrate that faith in God can transform a person’s life. We need to show the world that the old stereotype has flip-flopped. It is now believers in the Lord who are having carefree fun. 

Jury Duty: The Saga Concludes

Well, I completed my jury duty obligation. It was very interesting, and it’s odd to use the word “interesting” to describe something that was more boring than watching grass grow. The interesting aspect was seeing the inner workings of a big courthouse and knowing that we were a part of something very important. But what it boiled down to for me was spending 7-1/2 hours just sitting and waiting, until I finally was brought into a courtroom and asked a few questions, which took about three minutes.

During the day, various courthouse employees repeatedly told us, “Thank you for your service.” I had to check to see if I didn’t accidentally put on a military uniform that morning rather than my usual golf shirt and khakis. 

Speaking of clothing, the instructions I was sent beforehand clearly said no tee shirts and no shorts. Oh great, that means I had to go commando for jury duty! And without boxer shorts, I was pretty chafed by 2 pm.

The festivities finally began about 45 minutes after we were supposed to arrive – or 90 minutes after I arrived. What can I say? I hate to be late, and traffic into Hartford was surprisingly light that morning.

All the prospective jurors gathered on the 4th floor of the courthouse and then someone in a nice suit and tie gave us a little lecture. Then we saw two different videos. Then another person, this time an actual judge, gave us another lecture – and, of course, thanked us for our service. 

At about 11 am, all 35 prospective jurors were escorted downstairs to an empty courtroom. As we entered the room, I noticed that every single one of us looked like a defendant in a trial we knew we were going to lose. We were that grim. I’ve seen happier looking people in the waiting room of an endodontist’s office. (That’s a root canal doctor, by the way, which means no one in that waiting room was giggling with joy.)

I could tell that every one of us, whether we were religious or not, was praying fervently that we would not be chosen to serve on a trial. The state’s judicial website said that 90-percent of people who get summoned to jury duty complete their obligation in one day. But each of the 35 people in that room sure seemed convinced that he or she was going to be in the 10-percent who would get assigned to Connecticut’s version of the O.J. trial. That is, we’d be selected to serve on a jury for a long, drawn out trial, which would completely disrupt our lives, not to mention our financial security, for the next three or four months. Well, I can’t really say for sure if everyone was as fatalistic as I was, but they all looked very sullen and frustrated. 

Even though our ages ranged from the 20s to the 70s, we all had one thing in common (besides being glum). We each had a smartphone, which we stared at incessantly for hour after hour. (What did prospective jurors do before smartphones, other than go insane with boredom?)

Finally, after 7-1/2 hours, they called my name and I was escorted into a different courtroom, which had a judge, a bunch of lawyers, and a defendant charged with murder. They asked me some questions, which I answered truthfully. Then the judge thanked me for my service and dismissed me.

I suspect I wasn’t chosen because the defense attorney didn’t like the scowl on my face. But I wasn’t biased against his client. It was the chafing. 

When I left, I celebrated my freedom by going straight to a pharmacy and buying some Gold Bond. 

Pride Goes Before an iPad Fall

Recently, I was reading the Sermon on the Mount in my Bible. I came to these words by Jesus: “Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth….But store up treasure in heaven….For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be” (Matt 6:19-21).

Ooh, that passage brought back some painful memories. Many years ago, I was the leader of a Bible study in my parish. Our group was working through Matthew’s gospel, and when we came to the Sermon on the Mount, I prepared some discussion questions on this topic of materialism and the fact that so many people nowadays are “possessed by their possessions.” This is a situation that Jesus clearly warned against. 

Here are a few of the questions I prepared: Did Jesus mean we must take a vow of poverty and never own a single thing? Did Jesus mean all rich people are greedy and evil? What is the main message here for people like us, who live in a prosperous, materialistic culture?

Then I came up with a terrific summary of this section of the Sermon on the Mount: the test for whether our hearts are devoted to our possessions or to the Lord, is how we react if we lose something valuable. What if we lost prized possessions, such as our car or our shoe collection, our pension fund or even our home? Would we be absolutely devastated and bitter? Or would we trust that God will get us through the crisis and provide our daily bread? Would we be thankful for the things we still had, such as our family and friends and faith, and still have some joy in our lives?

I must admit I felt kind of proud of myself. Oh yeah, that’s a good summary, I thought. The people at the Bible Study surely will be impressed. Then I pondered what it might be like if I lost something very valuable, such as my car or my job or our home. Well, it would be kind of devastating, no doubt, but I felt pretty certain if something like that ever happened, I would trust in Jesus’ words, and be thankful for what I still had, and move on with my life with joy, knowing God would provide. Yes, I had convinced myself that I was a regular Mother Teresa, completely detached from materialism and the perfect embodiment of Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount.

You know that old verse from Proverbs, “Pride goes before a fall”? Well, do yourself a big favor: don’t ever convince yourself that you’re a regular Mother Teresa.

The very next morning after I wrote down those Bible Study discussion questions and patted myself on the back for being so non-materialistic, I was reading the latest news on my iPad while eating breakfast. Suddenly, the iPad slipped from my hand and dropped to the tile floor with a sickening crunch. The glass screen was smashed.

I immediately moaned from the depth of my soul, “Noooooo! Not my iPad! It cost over 700 bucks! This is the worst thing ever!!”

I was truly heartbroken. Then our Bible Study class met, and I asked my discussion questions, and I offered my terrific summary, and the people in the class commented that I was so wise. And the whole time I felt like an idiot. I felt like such a hypocrite. I knew without a doubt I was still “possessed by my possessions,” and every one of Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount was pricking my conscience and making me question all of my assumptions about modern life — which I think is exactly what Jesus intended.

Now, over a decade later, I still cringe when I read the Sermon on the Mount, remembering how foolish I felt when I reacted so hysterically about a busted iPad. 

Today, I would never react that way if I accidentally smashed my iPad. But before anyone pats me on the back, the main reason I would be more calm is because now, just to make sure, I own TWO iPads. So, maybe I still have quite a bit to learn from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.