Getting Ready for the Transfiguration

(This weekend the Gospel reading at Mass is the Transfiguration. Here’s a little essay offering a different take on this momentous event.)

“Hey Elijah, are you ready yet?”

“Hang on, Moses, I’ll be ready in a minute.”

“You were probably late for your own funeral!”

“What funeral? No need for a funeral when God whisks you away in a chariot of fire.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Mr. Big Shot riding into Heaven like the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl Parade. Well, anyway, Elijah, we’re gonna to be late if you don’t hurry up! We’re scheduled to meet the Lord on a mountaintop in ten minutes. And we’ve got a really important assignment.”

“I know, Moses, I know. I was sitting next to you during the PowerPoint presentation, remember? I know exactly why we’re doing this. It’s time for our age, the age of the Law and the Prophets, to give way to the new age of grace through Jesus.”

“Exactly. So how’s it gonna look if we don’t show up on time because Mr. Big Shot took forever to get dressed?”

“Hey, lighten up, Mo. It’s been centuries since I’ve been on earth. I want to look my best.”

“Listen, E-man, when the Lord makes our appearance dazzling white, those frightened little bunnies won’t be looking at our clothes.”

“Bunnies?”

“You know, Jesus’ disciples. He’s bringing Peter, John, and James. They’re gonna be so terrified they won’t notice any details. In fact, God told me that He’ll have to impress on their minds exactly who we are. Otherwise, they’d have no clue about our identities.”

“Yeah, I keep forgetting how stunning it is when mortals witness supernatural events. Like that time I called fire down from heaven. I just KNEW God was going to do it—He told me so—but still, when it happened, I almost fainted.”

“Yeah, me too. When I held my arms out and that Red Sea split right in half, I stood there for twenty minutes with my jaw hanging open drooling on myself.”

“So those three guys are in for quite a surprise, eh?”

“You’ve got that right, E-man. They will never forget this moment. That’s the whole point. Years from now, when Jesus’ new church on earth is being persecuted, these guys will have to convince people that it’s all true. And one of the main things they’ll be able to cite is this event.”

“Hey Mo, not to be a Monday morning quarterback or anything, but, uh, why did the Lord pick these guys, these bumbling fishermen? Couldn’t He have chosen a better class of disciple?”

“Oh, Elijah, I’m surprised at you. Jesus wasn’t looking for class and sophistication when He chose His disciples. He was looking for simple sincerity. Don’t forget, in a very short time these ‘bumbling fishermen’ will be responsible for spreading the Gospel all over the world. If Jesus had picked guys who were cunning and shrewd, no one would really trust them. With these simple men, people will instantly realize that they’re not clever enough to fabricate such an amazing story. Their innocence and naiveté will be their best asset.”

“Very nice speech, Mo, but what are you trying to do, make us late?”

“D’oh! I hate when you do that, Elijah! C’mon, hurry! We’re really late now!”

“Wait, wait! Moses, before we go, I want your honest opinion. How do I look? Is the gold sash a little too...MUCH?”

“Oh, E-man, of course you look great. You always go in style. But like I said before, those disciples won’t notice. And you know Jesus, He’s not into that kind of stuff at all.”

“Oh my! You’re absolutely right, Moses. I’m way overdressed! I’ve got to change my outfit. I’ll go with a light brown peasant frock. Yes, that’s it. Elegant, yet subdued.”

“No way! There’s no time. Hey! Where are you going?! Come back here!”

“I’ll be right back, Mo. Stall them for me. Tell some more Red Sea stories...” 

“Oh, that guy drives me nuts! Hey Lord, next time I have to visit earth, can I bring Adam instead? His entire wardrobe consists of a single fig leaf!”